Dear Diary,
Sometimes, it is easy to spend all of your time in a place that is familiar and comfortable to you. It brings you peace, knowing that it is never going to change, no matter what happens. “It is never going to change”—this catchphrase sounds comforting yet revolting at the same time.
Repetition and Its Effects
Life feels scary, and doing the same things over and over again can make you feel relaxed or tired, depending on the outcome. It is relaxing to go back to the same patterns that served me at one point in time. However, now all they do is keep me stuck in a place that is familiar but feels like a never-ending loop.
Questioning the Loop
Knowing what I have to do to get out of this loop is not the question I should be asking myself. Instead, why I should be getting out of this loop is the question for which my mind has prepared an answer. This is the analogy I should be leading up with.
The Allure of Consistency
Being in the same place, doing the same actions, and having the same reactions feel extremely satisfying, doesn’t it? It feels safe. There might be something missing, but this is peaceful, right?
A Life That Feels Lifeless
Then why does my life resemble someone who is not alive anymore?
Describing the Darkness
“Dark” and “empty” are the words I could use to describe all the lines I have written until now. Nevertheless, life is not meant to be described with these words. A safe and comforting place shouldn’t make you feel empty from within. Furthermore, darkness is not a phase you should be getting familiar with.
The Challenge of Change
Change can never be tiresome. Indeed, it can be terrifying; it can be tough. Telling your body to adapt to a different action is quite challenging. However, being in a place where you can’t breathe can be quite suffocating.
A Tip for Myself
Here’s a small tip for myself: “Every time you imagine a certain event is going to happen in your head, don’t believe it. It’s not real. Go out there and live the event.”