Dear Diary,
As a 23-year-old, or someone in their 20s, life often feels weird and confusing. Everything both makes sense and doesn’t at the same time.
I should be in great shape, advancing in my career, excelling at my art, spending time with family, managing my anxiety, enjoying nature, cutting down on my phone use, moving on from the past, focusing on the present, and planning a financially secure future. Everything should be organized, right? So why do I still struggle with every single one of these things?
A Story
None of my diary entries are complete without a story, so here’s one:
One day, while watching YouTube shorts, I saw a video about chronic illness. I read a comment from someone sharing their struggle with this illness. They spoke about their desire to pass away but how their family’s love kept them alive and motivated them to fight.
I felt emotional and replied, acknowledging their strength, will to live, love, and daily efforts to support their family.
I admitted to them that I lived a good life but felt ashamed for not living it fully, for being anxious and worried, and for failing to do what I should be doing. To my surprise, this kind person responded, “You deserve some kindness. We don’t know what anyone else is going through, but hating yourself isn’t the answer. Cut yourself some slack.” That response triggered a deep, cathartic cry.
The Struggle with Self-Kindness
A stranger enduring so much saw that I deserved kindness. Why can’t I see that for myself?
I constantly compare myself—my appearance, intelligence, career, and relationships—with others. Why do I hate myself so much that I believe others deserve love, kindness, and respect, but I don’t?
A Call for Understanding
We all experience various events in life, good or bad. These events shape our actions and reactions. So, instead of being harsh on ourselves, let’s strive to be more understanding and loving.