Dear Diary,
There are so many videos that tell you to improve your life by getting a social media detox, focusing more on your hobbies, going out with friends, and doing things to romanticize your life.
Noticing Positive Changes
I started my social media detox challenge a month ago. Since then, I have noticed effective changes. Now, I focus more on life. Cartoons feel more enjoyable. Anxiety feels less daunting. I don’t feel the need to check my phone every five seconds. Overall, it’s a pleasant experience to leave behind something that was doing more harm than good.
The Struggle with Boredom
However, I struggle with one point. Social media, games, or the phone, in general, make you feel excited. It’s like something is always happening, and you have so much to do. To be clearer, it brings out a certain kind of emotion or feeling that prevents you from getting bored or feeling empty.
The Pressure to Go Out
The world tries to explain how much you can do after leaving your phone. For example, you can go outside with your friends or alone. First of all, going out with someone or alone doesn’t always work out for me or others. Most people are busy working or doing something else. Going out alone or with someone specifically requires money, which we are always trying to save. I see people on social media platforms posting pictures of themselves going on solo dates to lavish cafes, shopping at extravagant places, and buying countless clothes. It seems they do this every single week.
The Reality of your Everyday Life
Now, I am not saying that people can’t do that or that it’s bad, but it certainly is not possible for every single person living their daily life. People have to go to their jobs. Finances are limited, and planning a day out every single day or week is quite exhausting.
Finding your Balance
Going out feels nice and energizes you, but hanging out every single day is not possible.
Returning to Old Habits
So, I come back to my phone to numb myself. Although I said that I have left my phone alone and am getting a social media detox, for the last couple of days, I can’t help myself and have returned to my old habits of scrolling on my phone.
The Challenge of Pursuing Your Hobbies
Pursuing your hobbies would be the next step in doing something else rather than sitting and scrolling on your phone. But here’s the twist: when people say, “Why don’t you spend your time doing something creative to entertain yourself?” my mind says, “I don’t want to. If I could, I wouldn’t have been addicted to my phone, Sherlock!”
Struggling with Reading
The last thing would be when someone tells you to read a book, and for that, my mind says, “The only books I read are on Wattpad.” Not listening to my mind, I got myself a self-improvement book, which does nothing to improve me but only brings out more issues. By issues, I mean things I already know but don’t want to think about. If I learn something new, I don’t remember it or don’t follow it.
The Emotional Boost from the Internet
I think the internet and the stuff available on it give me a boost of certain kinds of emotions or feelings in my body. A spike of adrenaline maybe, which makes me not want to give up this spike. When I do give it up, I am left alone with this enormous space in my soul or body, which I can’t seem to fill again with normal things. Or maybe I can?